PTMS.............

DON RICKLES................
THE BIG BOSS..........I'M JUST SAYING..
Sophie says "Who in the hell is this guy and please tell me we're not related"

I slept today until 12:30.......I just couldn't wake up. Finally I staggered up, turned on the t.v. to check out the poll numbers and promptly fell back asleep on the couch. The Boss got up, as he is the late sleeper in this family, and told me to go back into bed which I didn't argue with.....Around 2:00 daughter called and I managed to wander back into the kitchen and make us some lunch.....This is strange behavior even for me as I usually can just bound up out of bed and immediately be ready to go...Why was today different?? Then I realized I was suffering from PTMS.....or as we call it here at the house.....Post Traumatic Mike Syndrome. You see last night I tried to give the Big Guy some relief and I made that twice-weekly call to DAD.....that would be the "Big Boss".....at 87 years old his favorite sport is marathon talking. The husband calls him 2 times a week at which time he talks for well over 2 hours. I don't think women could even find that much to talk about. It seems Grandpa repeats himself over and over and over again.....I had to hear it for myself. The phone call started something like this....."Hey Sue, I woke up this morning and there was snow on the ground, I hope the tomato plants didn't die"....He loves to call me "Hey Sue" and usually starts every conversation this way. When I asked could it have been hail on the lawn he quickly assured me that no, it was snow....This was the start of a phone call that lasted one hour and twenty minutes....And it went downhill from there....He was all over the map. I heard about two Jersey cops that died this week while on the job. I don't know, one was speeding going 93 mph another had a 16 year old in the car that was killed. He thought the cop might have been driving too fast? Apparently Cindy McClain (as he calls her) was 43 when she married John McClain 30 years ago.....that would make her 73 and we all know that John McCain is 20 years older then his wife.......He prefers her hair down to up in a pony tail....then there was the Mayor of Newark, the infamous Clark Circle that is no longer there because they installed traffic lights to help you get around the circle without getting killed, the price of chicken breast at the Shop Rite....Cremation was a topic about how cheap someone must be to send a family member off to be cremated without the use of a coffin....then came the family members that he's unhappy with...Cousin Judy repaved her driveway when the driveway she had was perfectly fine and her air conditioning unit is too large and who owns all the cars in her driveway....Cousin Georgie's father just died and he went directly to Atlantic City to gamble and why doesn't he move into his fathers house in the retirement community.......Oh, wait he can't because Georgie has two small children (no he doesn't, Georgie is in his 60"s)......He was never any good anyway, always was asking his father for money and what do you think about him collecting Social Security......Can you get the picture? Is your head spinning? Have you gotten a migraine just by reading this? The man sucks the life right out of you...I know what your thinking that he's getting old and you should give him a break....Well, this might be true but he's been telling these stories for years. Cousin Judy must have repaved that damn driveway 10 years ago....Georgie has always been a bum and Big Mike has his own weather system going on over on Villa Place....I have alot more patience then the husband so I guess I may have to start making more of these calls....My head might hurt for a few days but atleast I will know things *not* to do when I get old......And a note to daughter....when it's summer and I call and tell you that there is snow on the lawn, please, have me put in a home.