Saturday, February 26, 2011

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.........a Blog Pause.

Daughter got a call on Wednesday at 4:00 a.m. from our home town Police Force.....
It seems the "Big Boss" called them after seeing
women in his closet and a dead man hanging from his Ceiling Fan....
Only Problem.......He doesn't have any ceiling fans in his house...
Daughter...... having to make the decision what to do with him.....since we were home in
Georgia sound asleep....and unable to hear even a bomb go off...
Had the police take him to the local hospital......
Now the BB is heading towards 90 in a few months....
He lives alone and still drives....
We have been trying to get him into an Assisted Living Home for the past three years...
He refused to budge....
He refused to let anyone into the house..
We also tried to get him to give up his license....to no avail....
The sad part is we could not get anyone to assist us...
His doctor told us years ago that he was a grown man and we couldn't tell him what to do....
So back to the ER this Wednesday he was checked out by two doctors who decided he needed to be admitted
This was done after they watched him for 15 hours and he
didn't change his story about seeing dead people......
He also had no idea that he was in a hospital.
It seems there is an old age dementia that causes people to think they can see
Dead People....
How hard is this to believe....and scary.
Can you imagine someone behind the wheel of a car who is seeing dead people....Not good.
He is still sitting in the hospital not knowing what day it is and our hands are tied because of
the HIPPA law.....
And the doctors that put him there will not cooperate and sign the forms for the courts to appoint the
Boss as his guardian so we can make medical decisions for him
They stated that "We don't participate in things like that".....
I will be taking a Long Pause from blogging to help out with
finding him good care and taking care of his affairs....
The husband and daughter can't do it alone...
So......I will be back "hopefully" not too long from now....
Until then.....thank you ahead of time for the comments that I know you will leave....
We all appreciate it....
***I will still be reading all your blogs because something tells me I am going to need some
"me time"....

50 comments:

Susie Q said...

Bless your heart Sue...I know this is hard and stressful. I wish i could do more than just pray and send you love and good thoughts. If I can ever do anything for you, let me know K?
I have been through somethng like this so I can understand the frustration and stress...*sigh*
Love ya dearheart.
Sue

Cheri said...

I have not been through anything like this that I had to tend to, so I can't be much help there but I always have my ears open if you need to chat or vent, just pick up the phone or email me.

Love ya friend

Donna said...

I pray for the best, Sue. Hope all works out well and you'll be back soon.

Hugs,
Donna

Sarah said...

Going through much the same with my mom. My heart goes out to you. It is not an easy time with all the decisions to be made. ~ Sarah

Kathleen Grace said...

Oh dear Sue! Praying for the situation and for your family. This is hard and I have been through trying to help a relative through the courts and they are no help at all. Praying all gets settled in a way that is best for your father-in-law.

Joan said...

Good luck with what's ahead for you all. These things are never easy and the 'officials' never seem to help much.
Will be thinking about you.

linda said...

Good luck with all of this incredibly hard stuff. We're headed in the same direction with my FIL so maybe you can give us some pointers when all is said and done.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

Marigene said...

Sue, I am so sorry for your family to have to go through this. Aging can not only be a stress on that person, but his/her family, too. My heart goes out to you.

Jojo said...

Oh Sue, This is what we all dread and I'm afraid my siblings will be going through similar circumstances in the very near future. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

salmagundi said...

Oh, Sue-- Go take care of the BB and your Boss; plus don't forget about yourself. It is always a trying situation - Bob's mother is almost 97, and it seems that some crisis comes up every week. We'll pray for you and look forward to your return to the blog world. Sally

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Sue take care of you, the Boss and BB. Good luck with this stressful situation. We are here for you. hugs, Linda

Jennifer said...

Hi Sue, I will be praying for you. We are going through some family issues too and I know how difficult it can be. (My uncle is very ill.)If you need a day down at the shore just email or give me a call. Jennifer aka Gigi

Chatty Crone said...

You know I see your husband - physically in his dad - talk about sons looking like their dads.

Anyway it is tough getting old that is for sure.

I am so sorry you and the boss have to go thru all this and no one willing to help you.

I had no idea it was that hard for a son to take care of his dad.

I'll miss you, but I'll be thinking and praying for you too.

Love,
sandie

Mumzie said...

Hi Sue, My heart goes out to you and your family at this time. I went through this with my mom a few years back and it's not easy. Since my mom's passing I studied to be a Long Term Care Ombudsman, which was a very difficult volunteer job. With that said, I would refer you to a local Long Term Care Ombudsman office in your area. They should be able to direct you to local resources, etc. My prayers are with you. Love & Hugs, Mumzie

Mimi Sue said...

Been there and done that! With both sets of our parents. We'll be sending you good thoughts during this trying time. Mimi

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Good luck Sue. I know that is a hard situation but with your spunk you will find the best place for him to be right now.
Seeing the dead people thing is scary.
Hugs,
Cindy

Cathy M said...

All I can offer you are my prayers.

The Country Nest said...

Oh Sue,
My father in law is almost 87 and won't leave his home or give up driving....I dread the day. It sounds like the day has come for you.
I will say a prayer for you and know you are in my thoughts, such a hard time. Family is so important.
Wishing you the best of luck.
big hugs,
Donna

Ellen said...

Thinking about you and the Boss and hoping all goes well. Let me know if I can be of any help.

Lisa said...

Best of luck to you. You and your family especially the Big Boss are in my prayers. Let us know how things go!! Luv ya Rue!!

NanaDiana said...

Sue- I work in a hospital in patient access and my husband is a chaplain there. Each hospital has a case manager(s) (usually one or more per floor). You need to get the case manager involved. They will be able to help you. A chaplain also has some powers there. God bless you as you move through this process. It is not easy. Hugs-Diana

carolinajewel said...

You are in my prayers Sue! I know this is a hard time.

Kathleen said...

Sad Sue. Prayers for all of you. Very difficult time.

Chatelaine said...

This is surely a stressful time for you. I can't believe you can't get help.

I think an elder law attorney could help. My dad hired one after my mom had a stroke. The woman was a godsend.

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

Oh dear, Sue. I feel for you. Mike went through this with his mom (and I with my grandmas but not the same as when it's your parent)...NOT easy. And your heart just breaks. I met a woman on the subway this week who's in the early stage of dementia and I just wanted to hug her.

Good luck with everything…I’ll be thinking of you.

merrilymarylee said...

Oh, Sue, I have been there and I know the frustrations! I don't know if you can do this or not, but someone finally told me about the Geriatric Psychiatry Department in one of our university hospitals. He agreed to go for the appointments. They gave him a driver's test--not the standard kind at the DMV but one that tested his reaction time and things we worry about in the elderly. They gave him a special license which restricted him to stay within a 5-mile radius and not to go over 35 mph.

Most importantly, the psychiatrist (it wasn't the same one every time) evaluated him each time. They could confine him ON THE SPOT if they felt it was necessary. It was the best I could do. Good luck! It's scary and sad to see their dignity fall away.

Linda Lou said...

So sorry to hear about the Big Boss-I think all of us are starting to experience this with parents and parents of friend's loved ones...My Dad died at 51, Mom at 64...its hard and stressful, no matter what age they start to deteriorate...

Fairfield House said...

Dear Sue,

You and your family are in my prayers. I know the road you are traveling. My mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's and now lives with me.

Your Friend,
Deborah

sueskitchen said...

It is always sad to have to see someone we love slip away. The exact same thing happened to my husbands grandmother. We were the only ones home to run to her aid. She was seeing people in her closets and dead people in the hallway!She was diagnosed with parkinsons and slipped away from us so quickly. Sending wishes for happier moments.
♥, Susan

gail said...

Oh Sue, how hard this must be. and what a bizare form of this illness. Keep the faith and I'm sure you will get him the help that is needed.
gail

House and Garden Boutique said...

Will be thinking of you.....Lynn

Vagabonde said...

I feel for you all, this must be so distressing. I hope you will find solutions fast to make everyone as happy as the situation warrants. I’m sending all my best wishes to you and your family.

merrilymarylee said...

Thinking about you. Just wanted to let you know I'm pulling for you to find the right channels.

Confessions of a Plate Addict said...

Hi Sue! Just swinging by to check on you and see how things are going. I hope you have been able to clear up the mess and find a place you like for your father-in-law. I remember going through all of this with my dad and it's tough! I am sending a big hug...Debbie

houndini said...

It's so hard seeing those we love grow old, become ill, suffer and become dependent (especially when they naturally fight it so much).

Sending you lots of love, light and postive energy at this difficult time.

Ax

Helen said...

Thinking of you today ....

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Oh Sue I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I hope by now BB is in a good place. I hope you take lots of notes of what you are doing as I may need them someday for my Mom . She is close to 90 but does not want to allow us to help her and I'm afraid this same thing will happen to her one day. {{hugs}]

Rettabug said...

Bless your heart Sue...what a trying time for everyone involved. I hear your frustration with the medical community. We experienced something similar with my Dad. UGH!

Your stress level has to be really high right now. Take some time for yourself & remember, slow, deep breaths. "This, too, shall pass"

Curtains In My Tree said...

Hi Sue

How are things going? This is an on going thing now for the rest of your Dad's life.

I know all to well. I went through this twice with immediate family

Janice

Rettabug said...

Just stopped by to see how things were going for you, Sue.

I know how difficult this time can be. Praying that the Peace of Holy Week can give you some respite from the anxiety.

Try to have a Happy Easter!

fondly,
Rett

Sara said...

Dear Sue, just stopping by to say you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers....missing you here in Blogland...be well, and may things fall into place smoothly for all that you are dealing with right now.

The Tablescaper said...

Oh hang in there. It's a long hard road, but one you've got to take. I'll say a prayer.

- The Tablescaper

Kathleen said...

Thinking of you , Sue!

Barbara said...

Hope you are sorting through things during this "me time"!

bj said...

So sorry for this hard time.
Prayers to you and all involved.
xo bj

Kathleen Grace said...

Missing you Sue. Hope everything is ok.

Linda Lou said...

Sue - are things OK? I have been thinking about you lately, and I miss reading your blog...hang in there!!

Cass @ That Old House said...

Hi Sue -- I've been thinking of you, wondering how it's going. It's so very tough to deal with a parent in this situation -- having done it, I wish you good luck, patience, and most of all some HELP from the people who are supposed to have the welfare of their elderly patients at heart.

My Mom used to see her dead relatives sitting in corners, etc. -- it's a bit spooky. We had to move her into an Alzheimer's unit -- no choice, but it was a very hard time.

Did you find an "elder law" attorney to help, or is there an elder care department in your community that can help with such things as giving your husband and daughter charge over him?

I hope all's OK.
We miss you!
Cass

santamaker said...

Miss you girl! Come back home and give me a call. Let's go out and try to get arrested again!

salmagundi said...

O.K., Sue--- 4 months is a long time without a blog post from one of my favorite bloggers. I don't do facebook, but my email says something about you having a new porsche and/or mercedes. Come on what gives? Give us the scoop on your blog - there has to be a story there somewhere. Miss you. Sally