Wednesday, February 3, 2010

TOM SELLECK......ORANGE CLOGS AND THE VARSITY.........

If anyone has been reading my blog for any length of time you know that on occasion I compare things I see in my daily life to Tom Selleck....
Yes....Tom Selleck who in my opinion should have been voted People's
"Sexiest Man Alive"
every year since 1972..........What does Tom......a pair of orange clogs and the Varsity all have in common?
Absolutely nothing until about 4:15 today.....
You see me and the Boss were out running our daily errands when he suggested we stop
by Atlanta's infamous "Varsity" for a quick before dinner pick me up.......
Just a little something to take the edge off....as the Boss likes to call it....
The Varsity for those of you who have never heard of it or seen it on
The Food Network....
Is a "Heartburn on a hot dog bun"
Famous for their chili dogs and Orange Frosted
we frequent there when ever we need that shot of cholesterol directly to the arteries...
So we place our order for the #1 upsized with a fry and a Coke.....and one extra
Chili Dog.....
We find a seat and as I start eating I glance over at the man at the next table....
Wishing that I had some secret "Blogger" Spy Camera in my purse I tried not to
stare.... I did have my little point and shoot..... as a good blogger never leaves home without a
camera but I know taking a picture of this Boob would have gotten me thrown out of the place
or arrested....
Here was this man....oh maybe in his 50's.......dyed blond hair with dark roots....
one of those Blue Tooth thingies only with a huge microphone attached....think of Madonna
or better yet the drive thru attendant at McDonald's....
Bright orange plastic clogs....
Yes people....Not even real Crocs....and might I add that we have the
Croc factory Outlet right here in town so wearing fakes is really tacky....
When he stood up to leave his stomach almost hit the floor....
Basically he was a mess.....
That's when I glanced over at the Boss and for just a split second I saw him with dimples
a mustache and a Hawaiian Shirt......
Now you all have seen the Boss and believe me he is no Tom Selleck
(Who is??)
But for that minute the Boss looked like a movie star compared to the man
in the fake orange crocs.....
I was having a
Tom Selleck Moment....

As I glanced around the room the other male dinners were not much better....
One guy had on a fleece skull cap along with a bandanna hanging
out the back....dressed in something that resembled pajamas...
Then there was the guy dressed in the
"Ralph Lauren Maternity Line"
I have never seen such a big stomach on a man............ it actually entered the Varsity
about 3 minutes before he came through the door....
He had the best time chowing down on a couple of
Slaw Dogs....that would be Cole Slaw on top of the wiener....
a Jumbo Fry and a huge drink...
He looked like this was his daily diet since he was born.....
I wondered to myself if there were more like them at home........Did they have wives that
let them leave the house looking like this....and better yet
Are there children that were produced....
A very scary thought.
So Ladies if you ever want to have that Tom Selleck moment with your
spouse just come on down to Atlanta and make sure you stop by the
Varsity.....
You'll see your husband in a whole other light....
What'll Have?????????????

14 comments:

Kathleen said...

OMG, as soon as I saw Tom Selleck I jumped over! He is my man..
Yes, makes us appreciate what we have..
My mother used to call scenes like that..:Pictures no artist could paint..and another of hers..he looked like 10 cents worth of God help us! :)
Funny post, Sue!
I had a typo on Tom's name, couldn't blaspheme like that! :)

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

That's too funny Sue! I just had to get over here when I saw that pic of Tom Selleck. Actually, my ex husband was as good looking as Tom Selleck but he was also a jackass. OOOPS, can I say that on blogger. Sorry. Funny story. Cindy

salmagundi said...

Hi Sue- I needed your sense of humor today - such a funny, visual picture you paint. Shoulder doing great - attitude/oxygen not so great. Appointment with internal medicine guy tomorrow - to figure out why I can't breathe. Take care, Sally

Chatty Crone said...

You ask 'What'll Have?????????????' The real Tom Selleck of course! I think he's mighty fine too!
sandie

Cheri said...

Hysterical, that is what your posts are. LOVE Tom Selleck. Jay can even attest to the fact that when we lived in NC and his show, Magnum PI came on, my world stopped and I was glued to the TV for that hour.

Country Girl said...

Always loved Tom Selleck. Magnum PI was one of my favorite all-time shows.
My husband already looks like a star to me. He doesn't believe me when I tell him, so lately I haven't said it. He doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. He's very fit. Sometimes it's maddening.

Peg @ Bloomfield Farm said...

Sue, you are too funny but so right! Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence... and sometimes it definitely does NOT! Compared to the competition at the Varsity, the Boss and Pa look pretty darn good, I'd say.

BTW, Pa said to tell the Boss that cattle are not as picky as horses. However, all animals like good hay but won't eat poor quality unless they are really hungry. Would that also apply to humans at the Varsity? Never been there but sounds good!

Kathleen Grace said...

Just goes to show, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Maybe a regular trip to the Varsity is a good thing. Tom Selleck is pretty cute but I think my guy is even cuter:>)

carolinajewel said...

That is a funny story!!!! I call my hubby my Mr. Darcy (even though he doesn't have Colin Firth's curls or dimples), but he is my perfect match!!!! If that feeling fades, I'll head to the Varsity and look for some fake crocs so I will appreciate what I've got!!! HAHA!

Anonymous said...

Yes, the Varsity is the best case of heartburn that money can buy. Don't knock the slaw dogs until you try one.

And, Tom has to be the greatest cure. Brings back memories of Tom in a helichopper. Tom, in a Hawaiian canoe. Tom, in a hot car. Tom, looking good whatever he was doing.

Necie

AuroraSuzette said...

Love your story. And that sign for the Varsity. What were you drinking again??

Sara said...

Oh yes, I remember Tom from those days of the Hawaiian show! Watched them every week too. Along the way I had sort of forgotten about him...you revived my memory! I'm sure he's still just as wonderful as he was then too.

Your descriptions of the cholesterol chomping guys are hilarious. I'm sure Tom is still as slim as he ever was...perhaps just the tiniest pooch around the belly; he is human, after all!

Orange clogs, of course, immediately brought to mind Chef Mario (I think he's called) that red-headed Italian guy who roamed around Spain with Gweneth Paltrow and some others eating all that gorgeous food. I thought you were going to tell us you ran into him at the restaurant!

black eyed susans kitchen said...

Sue, You are too funny...now I am going to give my husband a big hug and tell him how good looking he is!
♥, Susan

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Are you sure orange croc man was not Mario Batali? lol

I always loved Ton Selleck! I just found out a week ago that he was almost picked to be the Indiana Jones of the old movie series....Harrison Ford was a last minute thing. Hmmm...as much as I like Harrison, I think I would have preferred Tom in that role!