Friday, December 14, 2012

THE BIRTH OF A HOUSE......AND THE DEATH OF A MOOSE.

THE HOUSE IF FINALLY ON THE MARKET!!!
THE BAD PART.....
NOBODY IS COMING TO SEE IT :(
WELL....NOT TRUE....THREE PEOPLE HAVE LOOKED AT IT
IN A MONTH.....
IT SEEMS REALTORS NO LONGER DO BROKER WALK THRU'S.....
NO OPEN HOUSES....
NO FLYERS...
BASICALLY THEY DO NOTHING AND GET PAID 6% IF IT JUST
HAPPENS TO SELL....
OH EXCUSE ME........THEY LIST IT ON THE INTERNET...
REMEMBER IN MY LAST POST ABOUT THE HOUSE I MENTIONED
THAT I ASKED FOR A THREE COLOR COLOR THEME
KEEPING THE HOUSE A DARK BROWN...
SAGE GREEN SHUTTERS...
CREAM TRIM AROUND THE WINDOWS AND A CREAM
FRONT DOOR.....
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.......
THE REALTOR.....A MAN....AND THE CONTRACTOR....HIS FATHER....
VETOED THAT IDEA AND SAID ONLY TWO COLORS
WOULD BE MORE "BUYER FRIENDLY"
WHEN IT WAS DONE AND I STEPPED BACK TO TAKE A LOOK
ALL I SAW WAS DARK AND BLAH......
NO PERSONALITY....

ONE COMMENT FROM A WOMEN REALTOR....
"HOUSE LOOKS TOO DARK...NO CURB APPEAL....BUYER DIDN'T EVEN
WANT TO GO INSIDE...."
SO MUCH FOR MEN THINKING THEY HAVE AN EYE FOR THESE THINGS...
LET'S ALSO DISCUSS HIS LACK OF PICTURES OF THE HOUSE
ON REALTOR.COM
I WENT AND TOOK ALL THE BELOW PICTURES AND HE
SAID.....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
NOT APPROPRIATE...DON'T WANT TO SHOW TOO MUCH...
WANT TO KEEP THE BUYER GUESSING UNTIL THEY GET INSIDE....
OUR DECK.....
I WAS GOING FOR THE VIEW....THE PRIVACY.....HE COMPLAINED
ABOUT THE LEAVES.....
SO THEN TELL ME TO RACK THE LEAVES AND RE-TAKE THE SHOT....
LET THE BUYER SEE THE PRIVACY....AND WE GET
KILLER SUNSETS....
AT 1900 SQ. FEET....MY CAMERA LENS CAN SHOW THE WHOLE
ROOM FROM ONE SPOT...
THIS IS THE GREAT ROOM WHEN YOU ENTER THE HOUSE...
WE INSTALLED WOOD FLOORS....NEW CEILINGS....
THE CEILING IS TWO STORIES HIGH....
OKAY SO I ADMIT ALL THE WALLS ARE CURVED.....
BUT YOU CAN SEE THE SIZE OF THE ROOM..
SURELY PEOPLE AREN'T THAT STUPID TO THINK THE WALLS
ARE CURVED....
THESE WERE TAKE WITH A FISHEYE LENS....
LOOKING INTO THE DINING ROOM FROM THE GREAT ROOM
LARGE ENOUGH TO FIT A TABLE FOR 12......
LOOKING FROM THE DR...... THE GREAT ROOM ON THE RIGHT
AND THE KITCHEN ON THE LEFT...STAIRS TO SECOND FLOOR...
WET BAR.....TO SEPARATE THE DINING ROOM FROM THE
KITCHEN....
SECOND FLOOR BALCONY
OVERLOOKING THE GREAT ROOM....
THE BELOVED MOOSE HEAD USED TO HANG ON THAT STONE
WALL....THE VERMONT CASTING STOVE CAN HEAT THE
WHOLE HOUSE...
MOOSE STORY TO FOLLOW....
ONE OF FOUR BEDROOMS....
SMALL BEDROOM BUT SO CUTE FOR A CHILD'S ROOM...
CRAFTS ROOM....OFFICE....
SKYLIGHT MAKES IT NICE AND BRIGHT...
ALL THE SECOND FLOOR BEDROOMS HAVE SKYLIGHTS...
MASTER ON MAIN WITH A LOVELY BIG BAY WINDOW....
KITCHEN WAS COMPLETELY RE-MODELED....
HALLWAY LEADS BACK TO GREAT ROOM.
PANTRY WITH 10 LIGHT DOOR IS GREAT FOR  DISHES...AND STUFF.
LOOKING BACK INTO THE DINING ROOM....
DECK IS OFF OF THIS ROOM...
LARGE ENOUGH TO EAT IN.....OR TO BOWL.....
SO THAT'S THE FINISHED PROJECT....
I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HAS COME TO SEE IT....BUT THE "ANONYMOUS"
FEEDBACK
STATES THE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THE HOUSE...
BUT WHEN ASKED ABOUT THE EXTERIOR AND INTERIOR THEY
COMMENTED THAT IT'S "EXCELLENT''
GO FIGURE....

HOUSE WAS LISTED AT $159,900.
AFTER ONE WEEK THE REALTOR CALLED AND SAID IT NEEDED TO BE
REDUCED.....SO IT'S NOW $155,000.
HE CLAIMED WE WOULD GET MORE TRAFFIC IF WE DID THIS.....
THE ONLY TRAFFIC WE ARE GETTING IS OUR OWN....
WE GO OVER ONCE A WEEK TO MAKE SURE IT'S STILL STANDING....
HE CALLED THE OTHER MORNING TO SAY THAT WE SOUND LIKE WE ARE
ANXIOUS TO SELL THE HOUSE AND WANTED TO KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSE OF THE
FISCAL CLIFF....HE COULD ALWAYS REDUCE THE PRICE AGAIN....
LET'S TRY DOING A LITTLE WORK FOR YOUR COMMISSION....
HOW DOES THAT SOUND....

NOW FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE STORY....
THE BOSS KILLED MY MOOSE....
AND IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF THE REALTOR'S FATHER....
CAN YOU HEAR HOSTILITY I MY VOICE.....
I HAVE GROWN TO HATE BOTH OF THESE MEN...
I WASN'T ABLE TO RETRIEVE A PICTURE OF MARTY THE MOOSE
IN ONE PIECE.....BUT I HAVE OWNED HIM 20 YEARS....
HE IS FROM 1912....
WEIGHS A TON SINCE HIS SCULL IS STILL INSIDE THAT HEAD...
AND SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL....
HE HAS BEEN WAITING PATIENTLY OVER AT THE OTHER HOUSE
FOR THE PAST 15 MONTHS .....AND HE HASN'T COMPLAINED ONCE...
HE WAS SUPPOSE TO HANG WITH THE OTHER GUYS....
THE TWO DEER AND THE AMERICAN BUFFALO
BUT HIS WAS TO BE A SPOT OF HONOR...
HIGH UP ON MY ENTRANCE FOYER WALL....
WHEN THE CONTRACTOR.....LET ME REPEAT HE IS THE REALTOR'S
FATHER.....
WENT OVER BUDGET AND DIDN'T INFORM THE BOSS AT THE TIME...
THE BOSS BARGAINED THE FINAL PAYMENT BY
SAYING HE WOULD PAY HIS PRICE BUT "SAID CONTRACTOR"
HAD TO ARRANGE TO HAVE MARTY HUNG....
THE DAY OF THE HANGING.....HE WAS VACUMED....HIS ANTLERS
WERE LEMON PLEDGED....I WAS SO EXCITED....
SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM......AFTER ALL HE MANAGED TO HAVE ALL OUR
CEILINGS SCRAPED AND RE-DRYWALLED AT THE OTHER HOUSE....
SURELY HE WILL GET THE SAME MEN TO HANG THIS THING...

THE CONTRACTOR IS 74 YEARS OLD....
HE SHOWS UP WITH A SHORT LADDER AND HIS NEPHEW ASSISTANT
WHO BY ALL ACCOUNTS HAS AN I.Q. OF 73.......
AFTER ABOUT A HALF HOUR OF LOOKING BUSY.....HE ANNOUNCED
IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO DO....
"TOO DANGEROUS...."
NOW HE ALREADY HAS A HUGE HOOK INSTALLED IN MY WALL ABOUT
12 FEET OFF THE FLOOR.....
HE SAYS IT'S ONLY THE SECOND TIME IN HIS WORKING CAREER THAT HE
WAS UNABLE TO DO SOMETHING HE THOUGHT HE COULD DO...
AND HE TAKES HIS LADDER AND WALKS OUT.....

PHONE CALL IS MADE TO THE BOSS WHO IS AT THE OTHER HOUSE WAITING
FOR HOME DEPOT TO DELIVER THE NEW STOVE....
YOU KNOW THE STOVE THAT WE HAD TO BUY BECAUSE JIM THE
CONTRACTOR DAMAGED MY BEAUTIFUL STAINLESS STEEL
JENNAIR RANGE AND IT WAS UNABLE TO BE FIXED...
PLUS HIS SON THOUGHT IT WAS OLD AND" IF WE WANT TO
SELL THE HOUSE IT WOULD HAVE TO REPLACED...."

I TELL THE BOSS JIM WENT ALL SISSY ON ME AND WOULDN'T CLIMB THE
LADDER AND LEFT WITHOUT HANGING THE MOOSE....
I HANG UP THE PHONE AND BEGIN TO MAKE CALLS TO
FIND SOMEONE TO HANG IT.....

THE BOSS SHOWS UP SHORTLY AFTER IN A U-HAUL TRUCK
COMPLETE WITH SCAFFOLDING...
YES THAT'S RIGHT.....HE'S GOING TO HANG IT HIMSELF.....
BECAUSE IF ANYONE CAN DO IT......IT'S THE BOSS....
AFTER MUCH CURSING AND YELLING WHEN I MOVED THE PLATFORM
AT HIS INSTRUCTIONS AND THE WHEELS FELL OFF...


HE LIFTS UP MARTY......AGAIN MARTY PROBABLY WEIGHS 65-75 POUNDS...
HE CLIMBS A FEW STEPS TO LIFT MARTY UP ONTO THE PLATFORM...
MARTY MAKES IT ONTO THE PLATFORM....
AND THEN SOMETHING WENT TERRIBLY WRONG....
WITH A BEET RED FACE AND BULGING CAROTID ARTERY
THAT WOULD BE ON THE BOSS NOT ON THE MOOSE...
THE BOSS LOSES HIS GRIP AND MARTY TAKES A DIVE HEAD FIRST
OFF THE PLATFORM......HITTING THE BANISTER ON THE WAY DOWN...
TAKING OUT A NICE SIZE CHUNK...

AND HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS SNOUT....
TOTALLY DAMAGED TO HUGE PROPORTIONS....
AFTER ALL HE'S 100 YEARS OLD....
ALL BECAUSE JIM WHO NEVER HAD ANY INTENTIONS OF HANGING
HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE......WALKED OUT AND THE BOSS
DIDN'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT ME.....
I WAS DEVASTATED....
AND THEN THOSE WORDS WERE SPOKEN THAT ONLY A MAN COULD SAY
IN SUCH A SITUATION.....

"WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET".......

BTW......

THE BOSS AFTER THE KILLING CHECKED OUT 16 POINT MOOSE HEADS
ON THE INTERNET....THEY RANGE IN PRICE FOR A NEW ONE
FROM $3500.00 TO $4,000.00....
TO WHICH HE SAID....
"IF I KNEW IT WAS WORTH THAT MUCH I NEVER WOULD
HAVE TRIED TO HANG IT MYSELF"....

13 comments:

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Your stories are the best! Someone will get a fabulous house if they just open their eyes and look! RIP Mr Moose!

Linda

Chatty Crone said...

Oh my goodness your house is beautiful! Just beautiful. I think it is just a hard time to sell. I have heard of someone - a realtor that will tell you like it is - and what you need to do to really sell it. Let me know if you are interested.

And I am so sorry about the death of your moose. He was so old and doing so well. LOL You know our men think they can do anything. . .

Love, sandie
Merry Christmas

The Country Nest said...

Sue let me be clear GET A NEW REALTOR!!!! This is not something I say lightly. I accompany showings, I do Open houses. My MLS allows 30 pictures and just like blogs Buyers love pictures! Good God is it a secret listing? I use the internet too. We don't have as many Broker tours this time of year, but just last week I arranged a Broker lunch. Then I emailed and called many agents. The key is call and ask... hard for them to say no in person. My office is number one in our area and I stay in the top 10 agents here. Yes, I work hard, it is my job to market homes, they sell themselves to the right people, but he needs to do his job. If agents come through they all have buyers....easier to sell something you have seen. I wish I was in your area. Listen do some research...who's signs do you see the most and not because they stay there forever. Find a realtor who makes you feel good. I agree about the curb appeal, the realtor was, well a mans's opinion and most of the time it is a woman who makes the decision. You have done many things right here. I think you need better marketing, really! Sue email me if you have any questions.
Hugs,
Donna
RIP Moosey!

Marigene said...

I would be suing that contractor, he is an idiot and the son sounds like one too. Get a new realtor, one that is motivated to sell your house. Sounds like you got hooked up with a couple of jerks.

diane b said...

A fun post to read even though you have had some bother with realtors and a moose head. The house price seems awfully low compared to ours. There is no way we could buy such a house for that price unless it was in the outback.

Fairfield House said...

Oh Sue!
It sounds like you and the Moose had a hard day. It looks like you were using your moose head as a punching bag after every conversation with that realtor. :/ I can't believe how little your gorgeous home is listed for {imagine how much it would be if it was in NJ!} Realtors have the best gig in town -- all they do is collect commissions. I located the Fairfield House online. It was put there by the woman selling the house. We didn't meet the realtor until the day of the closing {figures!} and even then, he had the previous owner bring him back the FOR SALE sign!
Your Friend,
Deborah
PS Could a taxidermist do some 'plastic surgery' on your moose? I've seen some miracles done on faces much uglier! :D

Peg said...

Sue, I read your other comments and I agree that you need to get a new realtor. You should have gotten a new contractor too, but it's too late for that now. I think your former house looks like it should be valued higher, especially in a city like Atlanta... but then what do I know! To make it have more curb appeal, maybe you can add some exterior staging. One thing is for sure, hire a female realtor... one who has a history of selling homes in this price range in your area. Do it as soon as the contract with this guy expires! Too bad about the moose!!!

Sara said...

Well, I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry, but I admit, I giggled quite a lot even though most of it isn't really funny....

Yes, get a new realtor right away.

Poor moose...can a good taxidermist fix him up with cosmetic surgery?...if he's worth that much it might be just the thing to do...

Cheri said...

It Could Only Happen to Sue! There is just nothing else to say.

Chatelaine said...

Oh I would be angry too. Men, they mess everything up. 6% commission really? The realtor should definitely be doing more to sell the home.

Your home looks very nice. Might be the time of year. People are busy with the holidays.

Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Natalia Glazacheva said...

Wishing you have a Magic Christmas, Sue :0)
Lot of love from cold Moscow
Natasha & Fam

Terra said...

Poor Mr. Moose; could a taxidermist fix him? I hope you find an energetic realtor who will sell your house for you. It is beautiful inside and the deck is a good selling point too.

Barbara F. said...

Can't believe this house didn't sell in a heartbeat!! Poor Mr. Moose :( xo