Wednesday, November 14, 2012

FYI.....LET'S TALK ABOUT BOOBS.

NO.....WE WON'T BE TALKING ABOUT "THOSE" BOOBS.....
YOU KNOW THOSE MEN THAT THINK WOMEN HAVE IT BETTER THEN
THEY DO.....THOSE BOOBS THAT REFUSE TO GO SEE A DOCTOR
NO MATTER HOW SICK THEY ARE.....BECAUSE THEY ARE TOUGH...
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TOUGH IS....
NOPE....TALKING ABOUT OUR BOOBS....
THOSE TWO THINGS WE HAVE THAT MAKE IT HARD TO FIND A
STRAPLESS BRA THAT WILL ACTUALLY STAY UP WHERE IT BELONGS
NO MATTER HOW BIG OR HOW SMALL THOSE BOOBS ARE....
YOU FIND YOURSELF OUT IN PUBLIC AND WONDER WHY PEOPLE YOU
ARE TALKING TO ARE STARING AT YOUR CHEST....WHILE YOUR
STOMACH SEEMS TO HAVE GROWN A LUMPY INNER TUBE....
BUT THAT WILL BE A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME...
I'M TALKING ABOUT THIS MACHINE......
THE ONE THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR IN A
"PANINI PRESS"
ONLY YOU COME AWAY WITHOUT THOSE DECORATIVE GRILL MARKS....
WE ALL HAVE TO HAVE IT DONE ONCE A YEAR LIKE CLOCK WORK
AND FOR THE MOST PART WE ALL HATE TO GO....
WHO WOULD ENJOY GETTING A BODY PART SQUEEZED IN A VISE.....
WELL....MAYBE SOME MEN BUT LET'S NOT GET INTO THAT
I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE
MAMMOGRAM VERSUS THE ULTRA SOUND....

I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO READ THIS IF THIS WILL ONLY HELP ONE PERSON FROM
GOING THROUGH WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH YESTERDAY.....
I KNOW I CAN NOT BE ALONE WITH THIS ONE...
I WALKED IN TO THE IMAGING CENTER  PROMPTLY AT
1:00 P.M. FOR MY SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT....
TO WHICH I TOLD THREE PEOPLE AT THREE DIFFERENT TIMES THAT
I WOULD BE BRINGING IN ORDERS FROM MY DOCTOR TO DO
AN ULTRASOUND INSTEAD OF THE TYPICAL MAMMOGRAM..
I HAVE A SMALL PROBLEM WITH ONE ARM....IT WILL NOT RAISE SINCE I
BLEW OUT MY BICEP MUSCLE....ALONG WITH
NASTY SCAR TISSUE AND ALL SORTS OF OTHER ISSUES..
ONE SMALL PROBLEM......THEY SAID NO......NO YOU CAN'T HAVE
DONE WHAT THE DOCTOR IS ORDERING....
YOU "MUST" HAVE THE MAMMOGRAM FIRST AND THEN IF WE SEE
SOMETHING WRONG THEN YOU CAN HAVE THE ULTRASOUND...

WHAT?????????
THE OFFICE MANAGER QUICKLY TOOK ME OFF TO THE SIDE
LIKE I WAS THERE BEING TREATED FOR LEPROSY AND JUST
BEGAN TO APOLOGIZE.....FOR WHAT I DON'T KNOW....
IT SEEMS THE RADIOLOGIST WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD
"APPROVE" OF THIS REQUEST AND THAT IT'S JUST NEVER DONE....
EVER.....
OH THEY TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO ME ONCE AGAIN ABOUT
GETTING IT DONE FIRST AND THEN HAVING THE ULTRASOUND...
THEY SUGGESTED I ONLY HAVE THE NON-INJURED SIDE DONE
LEAVING THE OTHER BOOB OUT IN THE COLD....

I HAD TO MAKE THIS APPOINTMENT ON THIS SPECIFIC DAY AND
TIME BECAUSE "MR RADIOLOGIST" WAS ONLY THERE ON
TUESDAYS....AND ONCE AGAIN THIS BOOB WAS THE FINAL SAY....
OF COURSE "SAID BOOB" WAS OUT TO LUNCH BETWEEN 1:00 AND 2:00
AND MY APPOINTMENT WAS AT 1:00....

SO THEY HAVE ME COOLING MY HEELS OR SHOULD I SAY BOOBS
IN THEIR LITTLE PRE-WAITING ROOM TO SEE WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DECIDE.
AT WHICH POINT I SAID TO THEM....
"ISN'T HAVING AN ULTRASOUND BETTER THEN HAVING NOTHING
AT ALL?"
I MEAN YOUR READY TO HAVE ME WALK OUT BECAUSE
THE MAMMOGRAM IS MUCH BETTER THEN AN ULTRASOUND
DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE THE MAMMOGRAM FIRST
AND THEN "IF" THERE IS A PROBLEM......
THEY FOLLOW UP WITH AN ULTRASOUND.....
THIS MADE NO SENSE TO ME AT ALL....
NOW I KNOW THAT I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS WITH
JERSEY NUNZE AND SHE GETS THE ULTRASOUND SO
I KNEW THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT COULD BE DONE....
I E-MAILED MY LAWYER-ON-RETAINER.....THE DAUGHTER
ASKING HER ADVISE...
GET NAMES....ALWAYS GET NAMES....
I FELT LIKE GEORGE KELLERMAN IN THE "OUT OF TOWNERS"
I WAS READY TO GO HOME AND PROMPTLY REPORT EVERYONE
INVOLVED.....

ONCE I ASKED FOR THE NAME OF MR RADIOLOGY THINGS SEEMED
TO HAVE CHANGED.....A LOT OF APOLOGIZES FROM THE STAFF
AND THE WORD CAME OUT THAT YES THEY WOULD DO WHAT "I" WANTED
AND THEY WOULD "ALLOW" ME TO HAVE AN ULTRASOUND....
LIKE THEY WERE DOING ME A PERSONAL FAVOR...
AT WHICH TIME..... BEING JERSEY SNARKY....... I POINTED OUT
THAT IT WAS NOT ME WHO WANTED THIS DONE IT WAS DOCTORS
ORDERS....
THREE HOURS LATER......
I HAD ONE BOOB SQUEEZED IN THE MAMMO MACHINE.....
AND THE OTHER ONE SAVED BY THE GENTLE MASSAGE OF
THE ULTRASOUND MACHINE....
THEY GOT PERFECT READINGS ON BOTH AND I'M HAPPY TO SAY
EVERYTHING IS FINE....IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY BECAUSE
MR. RADIOLOGY WAS ABLE TO TELL ME RIGHT AWAY THAT ALL WAS
WELL.....SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

SO NEXT TIME YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME INVASIVE TEST DONE
AND THERE IS SOME REASON WHY YOU CAN'T....DON'T HAVE ANYONE
TELL YOU IT CAN'T BE DONE......CAUSE A FUSS.....ASK FOR NAMES...
TALK LOUD SO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WAITING AREA CAN HEAR YOU...
GET ON YOUR CELL PHONE WITH A FRIEND OR RELATIVE AND AGAIN COMPLAIN LOUDLY.....
BUT DON'T HAVE SOME STRANGER TELL YOU WHAT YOU
"HAVE TO HAVE DONE"....
IF YOU FEEL IT JUST ISN'T RIGHT FOR YOU....

THERE SEEMS TO ALWAYS BE AN ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION....
YOU JUST MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT....

AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT.....
AND I JUST THREW IN THIS PICTURE BECAUSE
THIS IS WHAT A MAN WOULD LOOK LIKE IN OUR POSITION.....
PRETTY PITIFUL DON'T YOU THINK.....

KEEP HEALTHY OUT THERE LADIES!!

16 comments:

Helen said...

OMG!!!

Chatty Crone said...

Where do you go - sounds like where I go. Is it at Northside? Andy way I hope the news was good! I hate those things too. Linda got home. Sandie

Salmagundi said...

Only you would have a great post on a lousy subject!!! Glad everything is o.k. Sally

NanaDiana said...

Oh-I hear you! I worked in the health care arena for years and I know exactly what you are talking about. We used to call them the little demi-gods. There is NO reason that you could not have had an ultra-sound done on both breasts. xo Diana

Veronica said...

You GO Girl! Stand up for yourself! You really have to speak up for yourself with some people of the medical profession, because sometimes they can treat you as if you have no knowledge at all about your body or procedures. So glad it all worked out.
On a personal note: I always crack up when I get my mammo because 1) I'm short and 2) gravity has played a cruel trick on my upper torso. So it is always interesting how the nurse technician has to get me and my "upper torso" at the right height and angle to get good pictures! She's usually exhausted when she's done with me! LOL just sayin...

Fairfield House said...

Sue,
I could write a book on hospital/doctor/health insurance procedures, rules and regulations. So much for patient care and 'stress, the silent killer.' :/
I'm sorry you had to experience so much aggravation to find out all is well.
I'm with you, NEVER settle on what some employee who doesn't want to take ownership of a situation or unable to think outside the box tells you.
Your Friend,
Deborah
FairfieldHouseNJ.com

Cheri said...

OMG so funny and yet so true. This could only happen to you my friend....maybe Joyce too. LOL

Linda Lou said...

Hi Sue, God do I hate those machines, invented by men so we can endure more pain and suffering!!!! Hope your boobs are OK, just stopping by to say Happy Thanksgiving..

Sue said...

You and I never take "no" as the final answer and solution to anything because we know better and we stand up for ourselves! Gosh, we have to meet up some day! I KNOW that I'm smarter than many of these "professionals..."

Sarah said...

Great post! I've always wondered the same thing. If an ultra sound shows more, why do they insist on the mammogram? I've had the experience of being called back for the ultra sound more than once. First, it's a frightening feeling, and second, they won't tell you anything even though you can see the screen while they are doing it.
Glad your results were all fine. That's the important part! ~ Sarah

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

Oh MY. And I have another add (from a recent saga I think you might know about?!)...always ask everyone involved if the hospital/radiologist/whathaveyou if they are STILL on your insurance plan and IN NETWORK. And then ask their names. And maybe video your convo. That's my $6,500 lesson. :-/

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

Oh man... I thought that post title was about my ex-husbands... :-)

You are one hilarious chickie... Loved the post and I'm glad to hear your girls are just fine...

xoxoxox
Spencer

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Good for you! I have been standing up for my Mom with her Dr's and I know what you have to do and that is not let them intimidate you!! Yep! Linda

Sara said...

Ultrasounds can be more pleasant than the boob-squashing machine! But not always . . .I had to have that done one time but they made me raise my arm up over my head and keep it there for what seemed like forever, so long that my shoulder began to ache. Such fun, this prodding and poking we women must be subjected to! But I suppose we can endure it for the sake of our health, yes?

Susie Q said...

Only our Sue could make something so funny, and a hoot to read, about something rotten! So glad all is well though...sure do understand what you are talking about!
Love,
Sue

The Country Nest said...

Sue,
Only you could turn what sounds like a pain in the __s situation into something so funny. Sometimes the blinders that people wear kill me. Thank you for the laugh and I am glad you are OK until next year.
hugs,
Donna