Sunday, February 15, 2009

IT'S ALL SUE'S FAULT...........more words of wisdom.

In this house whenever something gets lost, gets broken or gets misplaced I am always at the receiving end of the blame.....After 38 years of being in the hot seat I have come to accept the finger being pointed at me no matter who's fault it is....But now I have to lay the law down as other people besides the Boss has jumped on the "Blame the Sue" bandwagon......
I received an e-mail from Cobb County a few weeks ago stating that if your home has an alarm system you will now be charged a yearly fee....This fee is to cover the frivolous alarm calls that the police have to go out on.......You know the kind....when the cops come out and find that there is a perfectly stupid reason why your alarm went off for 15 minutes.....and you were home!! This little innocent e-mail brought back horrible memories of last years babysitting stint at the daughters......
Daughter also got a similar type of letter from her local authorities about the same type of fee....They do have an alarm system at the manse........When she showed the letter to the son-in-law the first thing he said was............."It's all your mother's fault"...........Let me explain......I was babysitting Miss B. for a week while the kids studied, then took the New Jersey Bar exam.....I was doing great all week with the baby, I hadn't lost her and she was accident free...I was set up for the day in the family room on the first floor with everything I needed to take care of a "crawler".....Miss B. was not yet walking....diapers, snacks, bottles.....I would just have to wait for her to nap so I could run to the main level to go to the bathroom.....Miss B was pretty heavy so I was not able to carry her up the stairs to the second level.....No problems so far......Test day comes...I'm left with instructions and told that cell phones were not going to be allowed in the test area so I would not be able to get in touch with the kids if I needed anything....What could I possibly need??? They would get out at 4:00 and be home by 4:30....No problem.....Oh no?? Oh yes!!.................2:00 p.m. rolls around...I'm doing great, baby is doing great...The doorbell rings. Oh no, this means carrying "20 pounds of squirm" up a steep flight of stairs to get to the front door....I manage to do this with buckled knees. I see through the little window next to the door that it's the Merry Maids....come to think of it daughter did mention that it was cleaning lady day. Okay to open the door, they looked harmless. Then the ............hit the fan.
I was not aware that when the kids left they set the alarm locking us inside......forgetting to remind me of the code. I know what the code is but being a tad bit forgetful at times.....Well, this was one of those times.....I opened the door to let the 2 ladies in, they stepped inside the door and all hell broke loose....The loudest most ear piercing alarm I have ever heard in my life...The baby started to scream....the two cleaning ladies covered their ears....One spoke English, one did not. We all just stood there looking at one another.....I tried to shut off the alarm with no luck. My mind went blank.....I started entering my S.S. #......parts of my phone number.....my age....all those important numbers that come naturally to you.....NOTHING.......the phone rings....it's ADT. They want to know who I am and why is the alarm sounding if I belong in the house....Why haven't I shut it off yet....Now picture this...I'm holding a screaming baby, I have 2 half foreign strangers wincing at the sound of the alarm and someone on the other end of the phone asking me..."What is the secret code?"......secret code? They didn't even leave me the regular code, what makes you think I have a secret code. I finally convince ADT to shut off the alarm. All is well, baby calms down but I swear I hear one cleaning lady say to the other something about being Locco? So you think this story is over. Not quite.
I now have to convince the ladies that they have to stay at the house until the kids get home at 4:30....See ADT shut off the alarm but they also re-set it. So if the door was opened the alarm would go off again. We didn't want that to happen. I figured to clean a 3 story house with 4 bathrooms there was no way they would be done by 4:30. Wrong again. The English speaking lady tells me they'll be done in an hour.....and they had another job to go to. What to do? I call the Boss back in Georgia. He calmly tells me that if I don't let the maids go when they are ready to leave it could be considered kidnapping....I hang up on him....he's no help since he doesn't remember the code either......Then the cops pull up...Yes, the cops.
I hear banging on the front door. I go to the window next to the door and wave.....They tell me I have to open the door....I refuse. Let me repeat that.....I refuse. Big mistake. I pass the baby off to the cleaning lady. I try to explain to them through the window that if I open the door to let them in the alarm will go off again and I don't know the code. They ain't buying it.....The one cop says......"Are you being held against your will, who's car is that out front?".....I tell him the cleaning ladies and he still isn't buying it....After all I was a bit frazzled by this point. I try to convince him that I'm not being held hostage so I march over the cleaning lady who's holding the baby and she smiles at the cop and says...."Okay, everything okay"...he then asks for a drivers license or some form of I.D.......with baby in arms I go down the steps, get the license, climb back up the steps....I'm ready to die at this point....I slip the license through the window and screen. He writes down the info.....again says......"are you sure no one is keeping you against your will?" yada yada yada.......I have to give them credit they really didn't want to leave.....but they finally did. The minute they drove off a light bulb went off in my head....I remembered the code....not the secret code, just the regular code. It worked!! Alarm off....cleaning ladies leave.....4:30 rolls around the kids come home....I figure what they don't know won't hurt them....what I don't know is as soon as that alarm went off ADT left multiple messages on both their cell phones....as soon as they got out of the test and checked their messages they knew what had happened.....BUSTED!!! ...............So my words of wisdom for today is...."You don't want to be 58 years old and have to go to the slammer for kidnapping two cleaning ladies and eluding the police." And as for the son-in-law....this is one time that I have to agree with him....the fee for frivolous alarm calls......All My Fault!

24 comments:

prof en retraite said...

Oh Sue...you are too funny! I swear stuff happens to you that couldn't happen to anyone else!! Such a hoot!!! lol lol lol...Debbie

Kim @ Forever Wherever said...

You're so funny! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall! :-)
-Kim

Shannon said...

That sounds like a frightful day! You are a trooper- that's for sure :) I do not like those automatic alarms. In four years on the volunteer fd hubby has gone on at least one automatic fire alarm call a month- including many in the middle of the night. None, I repeat, NOT ONE of them have been anything short of a false alarm. Get a dog and help a fireman save his energy for a real emergency!

Country Girl said...

Ha! Good story.

I don't like the sound of that staircase, though.

Mimi Sue said...

Yikes! That sounds like a Steve Martin movie! Too funny! We live in such a crazy world. Remember when we could leave our doors unlocked? Well, we could in a small town in California. All of this stuff makes our lives so dang complicated. No wonder we can't remember anything. Your spaghetti looks wonderful. Mimi

The Quintessential Magpie said...

Sue, LOL! That is a scream. It's like a Lucille Ball comedy. Glad, though, that the cops didn't break down the door. ;-)

XO,

Sheila :-)

Weef! said...

I agree with the blogger who said one should get a dog, rather than having an alarm! Twice today the Husband has set off the alarm... once by hammering a piece of drywall right in front of one of the "glass break" detectors and the other time while working in the Utility Room and accidentally opening one of the windows that's alarmed. Both times Miss B. was asleep. Not for long...

Daryl said...

Oh Sue .. what a wonderful post .. I hope you've gone to weight training class just in case ...

Joan said...

OMG, I am laughing so hard. Bet you'll never forget any codes, secret or otherwise again. :)

Linda Lou said...

Funny story, poor Sue, its NOT your fault-you are a victim of circumstance! LOL!

salmagundi said...

Your only fault is loving your family so much you do things to make their life better!!!! I remember when my first g.child was a baby, they lived in a 3-floor walk-up. I was trying to help out during some crisis in their life, and I found myself carrying up a bag of groceries and a baby in a heavy carseat. I finally yelled, "Hey, look at me - this is not a 20-year old body - I'm the grandmother here!!" I'm feeling better today - we'll see what the Drs. and xrays say this week. Sally

nouveaustitch said...

My alarm goes off every time I try and empty the dishwasher or put a trash bag in the garbage can.

I LOVE that alarm!

Liz said...

This is something straight out of a Carole Lombard movie. :)

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

BU-WA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry to laugh at you...but...bu-wa-hahahahahahaha!

......"Are you being held against your will, who's car is that out front?".....

Oh. My. GAWD. You really couldn't even make this up. :-)

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

LOL!!! This could be a Lucy and Ethel episode! I have tears running down my face now...
Hugs,
Penny

Anna Lefler said...

There's got to be someone else you can blame for that incident.

C'mon, woman, THINK!

Never accept blame - NEVER!

;^) Anna

dawn said...

okay, i'm laughing and i just peed my pants after reading this and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!

Linda said...

That is a hilarious story - after the fact....I'm sure you were thinking you were living in a nightmare! Glad you are not behind bars : ) Linda

Dan Gliubizzi said...

Your sense of humor always comes through even when you are writing recipes. Sometime I will write the Village story out for you. When you saved the day.
Dan

tami said...

Hi Sue-
Yes blurb is great. I slurped Oct 07 thru Jan 09. After edits I had 350 pages, I did the most expensive cover, which is a hard cover wrap, including postage it was $106.
Worth it? You bet. I basically scrapped a year + in a very painless way.
I thought the editing part was fun, it isn't totally necessary but I wanted more than one post per page and I wanted some pictures larger than the booksmart program did.
Hope this helps.
How can I get on tablescape thursday?
tami

Susie Q said...

I know I should not be laughing but I am. I thought these things only happened to me. And, believe me, they have!
But only YOU could write about it with this much wit and style!

I still need to blog about the wonderful gift...and I will. I am so behind it is not funny. Okay, so it is a little bit funny but then...

Love,
Sue

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

LOL! I'm so glad to be catching up with you backwards tonight Sue, and had a chance to read this! What a harrowing tale -- thank goodness the code popped into your head at the last minute so you didn't have to serve time ..lol!

Neabear said...

Oh my goodness! This was too funny! I agree with Sheila that this was like a "I Love Lucy" comedy.

410E9th said...

Wonderful!