Thursday, October 18, 2012

FOOTBALL WIDOW VS. FOOTBALL WIFE.....


LET ME MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A "FOOTBALL WIDOW" AND A "FOOTBALL WIFE"....
I ENJOYED BEING A FOOTBALL WIDOW AND ALWAYS LOOKED

FORWARD TO THE FALL WHEN ON WEEKENDS I COULD
SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SPEND HOURS AWAY
HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND OR BETTER YET SPEND HOURS
IN TJMAXX.....
I NEVER FELT SORRY FOR THE FACT THAT THE BOSS PLANTS HIS BUTT
IN FRONT OF THE T.V. ALL DAY ON SUNDAYS DURING FOOTBALL
SEASON...IN CASE YOU HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DOES THE SAME THING
AND THIS BOTHERS YOU.......DON'T THINK TWICE ABOUT BEING IGNORED FOR
THE NY GIANTS OR THE MIAMI DOLPHINS....
I WILL NOW TAKE YOU THROUGH THE DAY
AS A FOOTBALL WIFE.....

IT ALL STARTED WHEN THE BOSS WANTED TO BUY "ONE" TICKET TO
SEE THE GIANTS PLAY THE FALCONS....
UNABLE TO GET SUITABLE SEATS IT WENT FROM CHEAP SEATS FOR A 
SEASON......TO CLUB LEVEL SEATS AND A SIGNED THREE YEAR CONTRACT....
THE MOST EXPENSIVE TICKET TO SEE THE GIANTS....
I COULD HAVE BOUGHT A SMART CAR FOR WHAT HE PAID FOR THESE
SEATS...
AND AS AN ADDED BONUS I GET TO BE A "FOOTBALL WIFE"
FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS....
THAT'S 30 HOME GAMES....
LET ME ALSO ADD THAT THE BOSS HATES.....NO DESPISES DRIVING IN
TRAFFIC AND I HATE INDOOR CROWDS....WE ARE SUCH A PAIR....
AT ONE POINT TODAY WHILE SITTING STILL ON I-75 HE SAYS....
"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO START LEAVING FOR THE GAMES
AT 9:00 A.M."
THIS IS NOT SUE'S IDEA OF A FUN WEEKEND.....WHICH IS HOW HE SOLD ME
ON THIS WHOLE FOOTBALL THING.....
ONLY A MAN WOULD CONSIDER A FOOTBALL GAME WITH HIS WIFE
AS A "BONDING EXPERIENCE"
AFTER 42 YEARS.......BELIEVE ME....IT'S NOT!!!!

THE FOLKS RUNNING THINGS DOWN HERE IN THE ATL
HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HANDLE MORE THEN
THREE CARS ON THE HIGHWAY AT ANY ONE TIME....
IT'S AS IF A HURRICANE IS COMING AND WE ARE ALL LEAVING ON
A ONE LANE ROAD...
THROW IN A LOT OF JERSEY CURSE WORDS AND YOU HAVE THE PICTURE..
 


THIS CONFUSED ME......HE HAD TICKETS IN HIS HAND.....
WHY DID HE NEED MORE??
IF YOUR WAITING IN A BIG LONG LINE OF CARS HEADING TO THE
STADIUM MORE THEN LIKELY YOU ALREADY
HAVE A TICKET.....
AGAIN...I THINK THIS IS A MAN THING....

THE EVER POPULAR CONCESSION STANDS

THE POOR SMUCKS WHO PARK IN THE FIRST LOT THEY COME TO
THEN REALIZE THEY ARE ABOUT 3 MILES AWAY FROM
THE STADIUM.....
LOVE THE WIGS ON #2 AND #88......

ALMOST THERE!!

THE MASSIVE CROWD TRYING TO GET INTO
THE STADIUM....
BUT THANKS TO THE BOSS WHO KNEW THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY
HE COULD GET ME TO GO ALONG WITH THIS SCHEME WAS TO
AVOID THE GENERAL "RIFF RAFF" AND GET TICKETS
AT THE CLUB LEVEL.....
NO LINES......NO WAIT.....RED CARPET......
OH WAIT........DIDN'T SOMEBODY A FEW WEEKS AGO
DIE RIGHT AT THE EXIT DOOR LEADING TO THE PARKING DECK
LEAVING SUE LOCKED OUT ON THE SKY WALK WITH
A HUNDRED PEOPLE CROWDED AROUND ME IN THE HEAT....
AND I HAVE THREE MORE YEARS OF THIS.....
GET ME A VALIUM!!!!


HERE IS MATT RYAN GETTING READY TO COME OUT ON THE FIELD...
IN TRUE "JERSEY ITALIAN" FASHION WHEN THE BOSS BOUGHT
THE SEASON TICKETS HE ASKED THAT EVER POPULAR JERSEY QUESTION....
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO THROW IN IF I TAKE THE DEAL"
HE ENDED UP WITH AN NFL FOOTBALL
SIGNED BY QUARTERBACK MATT RYAN....

MUCH HOOPLA INTRODUCING THE PLAYERS

THE CRAZY MASCOT....

I PREDICT THAT MASCOT IS GOING TO CATCH FIRE ONE OF THESE
WEEKS....


TWO ADORABLE BABIES IN THE CROWD.......
BUT WAY TO LOUD TO HAVE LITTLE EARS HEARING ALL THAT
NOISE FOR THREE HOURS....

SAMUEL L. JACKSON......
FALCONS SPOKESMAN
WAITING ONE WEEK FOR HIM TO SAY
"SNAKES IN THE STADIUM"

LOT'S OF BUTT ACTION....

AND HERE'S ANOTHER WAY THE BOSS GOT ME TO
KEEP HIM COMPANY.....
#71.....KROY BIERMAN....
BETTER KNOWN AS KIM'S HUSBAND FROM THE
REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA...

FOR ANYONE WHO WATCHES THE SHOW HERE IS
KROY AND "HIS INFAMOUS "BUTT"

OH GREAT......STILL SOMEONE WHO THINKS KILLING
DOGS IS ACCEPTABLE....

ALWAYS ONE JACKASS IN THE CROWD.....
A RAIDERS FAN....WEARING A FIREMAN'S HAT....

THE NOISE METER.....
SOMEONE IS BOUND TO SOONER OR LATER SUE THE
STADIUM FOR HEARING LOSS....


GEE.....WHAT COULD THIS MEAN????????
IT MEANS EVERY THIRTY SECONDS YOU HAVE TO STAND UP SO THAT
THE PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROW HAVE TO GET UP TO GET
ANOTHER BEER.....THEN 5 MINUTES LATER HAVE TO GET UP AGAIN TO LET THEM
BACK IN.....THEN ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER THEY HAVE TO GO PEE.....
UP AND DOWN...UP AND DOWN....
I KNOW THE BOSS IS GOING TO HAVE A FIST FIGHT WITH SOMEONE BEFORE THE
SEASON IS OVER...



EVERY TIME THEY MAKE A TOUCHDOWN THESE GUYS
RUN LIKE NUTS UP AND DOWN THE FIELD....



CHEERLEADERS DRESSED TODAY IN PINK FOR
BREAST CANCER AWARENESS....

THESE GIRLS WORK HARDER THEN THE PLAYERS....


REACTING TO A BIG WIN.....
6 WINS.....0 LOSES....

EITHER PRAYING TO GOD FOR THEIR WIN.....
OR.....SOMEONE DROPPED A QUARTER....

OUR NEW FRIENDS AND FELLOW SEASON TICKET HOLDERS.....
THESE LADIES HAVE SO MUCH SPIRIT THEY JUST MAKE YOU SMILE....

THE ONLY TIME THE BOSS WILL EVER BE ON A RED CARPET.....

GAME OVER.....
I WISH I WAS BACK BEING A FOOTBALL WIDOW.....
WHERE I HAD "ME" TIME ON SUNDAY AFTERNOONS.....
TJMAXX IS MORE APPEALING TO ME THEN FOOTBALL.....
BUT FOR ALL MY BLOG LADIES OUT THERE WHO GET TO SPEND THEIR SUNDAYS DOING ACTUAL FUN STUFF....
I WILL BITE THE BULLET AND SUFFER IN SILENCE KNOWING YOU CARE
ABOUT ME AND THAT I'M DOING IT FOR YOU ALL.....


13 comments:

Ellen said...

You missed your calling - you should be a writer.

Loved your post - just enough snarkiness to know that you haven't lost your Jersey Girl sense of humor.

Salmagundi said...

I count my lucky stars I'm a football widow. Years ago, we drove the 100 miles to Denver to see the Broncos play - that was enough for me - a once in a lifetime experience. Now, Bob has a TV in the garage with cable. I can do what I want on Sunday afternoons (and Monday & Thursday nights!) My only advice to you - take a book to read. Thanks for doing all of this for us football widows. Sally

Cheri said...

God Bless you for taking the bullet for us, Sue

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh my Sue! Glad you are taking the bullet for us! I'll think about you the next time in TJ MAXX on a Sunday afternoon! Love ya! Oh and a big
THANK YOU for a pic of Kroy's butt!
Whoo Hoo!

Linda

Marigene said...

Sue, you need to find a way the Boss would rather take one of his buddies to the game instead of you...I would rather plead a headache!

Peg said...

Too funny. You are so honest. I'll bet you are not the only one who feels this way. Be careful... if you go at 9 AM, the boss will expect you to bring food and join the tailgaters.

Chatty Crone said...

I have to be honest - I am a football loser and happy to be one.

Babs said...

Oh, poor thang! Gotta love the Atlanta traffic..NOT! Do they have a complimentary bar at club level..with lots of wine? Or maybe a couple of glasses of wine before you leave home? Sorry that you're sick.Hope you feel better soon...but maybe your cold will "linger" through the next game?? Hugs and have a good weekend,
Babs

Clipped Wings said...

Very funny! Hope you survive all three years.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

My entire family are football fans..always have been..and I know as much about the game now as I did when I was in high school. Nothing!
Loved the photo's..and learned a bit too. So...you are in Georgia also. I was in Atlanta on Sept 6 through the 11th..and had a great time..my eldest daughter lives there.
I was married for 43 years to my first husband and high school sweetheart. I try not to linger in the past...but sometimes it's hard.
Take care..and again..thank you for your sweet visit!
Mona

Sue said...

If I had my choice about seeing a game, I'd prefer to watch a college game in the comfort of my own home. They're more fun than the pros, IMHO. I don't like to fight crowds and I sure as heck wouldn't want to be caught in the middle of a hold-up such as the one you were in! Aagghh... Maybe you can suggest to the. Boss that he could find a male companion to enjoyable few game Sundays so you can go on a shopping foray with one of your own companions. What would he say to that proposal? Or are you stuck? If you are, I'll be thinking' of you as I'm off on junket of my own. Poor baby....

{Bellamere Cottage} said...

SUE! You are totally hilarious. I'm in the Football Widow camp... I HATE football... in fact, I am so annoyed by sports. My darling husband LOVES to have the TV tuned to anything sports related... I am not kidding when I tell you he'll watch volleyball, golf, and tennis if it's not football or baseball season.. I send my sympathies that you're going to be enduring this punishment for THREE years... :-) I've been to a couple baseball games and have actually been able to catch a few zzzzz's... Maybe you could too? Or take your iPad and zip onto Pinterest or Facebook.

xox
Spencer

Fairfield House said...

Dear Sue -
Thank you for this post. I needed a good laugh after the election results. I am blessed that Thomas is not an armchair quarterback but does watch his share of car shows. [Yawn] Tell the Boss I am reporting him to the Giants. The only games I enjoy watching are the ones I've wagered a bet on! (Why else would a Jersey Girl watch a game?) Thanks for taking one for the team.
Your Friend,
Deborah