Sunday, January 25, 2009

A CAREER CHANGING MOMENT.......

Back in 1991 I found myself with a career changing decision....My company was downsizing and my position was being done away with.....It was right at the holidays but always being optimistic I jumped at the chance for some career counseling.....The company was going to foot the bill to help find me a new, hopefully fun career, so I was prepared to try anything....Below are just some of the new professions that the Career Counselors suggested I try.......
My first try at a new career.....appliance repair person.....What women wouldn't want another
women fixing their clothes dryer.....but there was that whole electrical shock issue....plus I never
looked good in uniforms....

Tiffany's hired me to model their diamonds....but customers complained of too much cleavage....they asked...."Who does she think she is Giada?"


Knowing I love animals, especially chimps, they suggested animal wrangling......this didn't work out when they realized the enormous liability if the little bugger bit me.....that's the last thing they wanted....




I tried a short stint as a UPS driver.....again liability issues, I could lift a heavy package and the back could go out and of course there is always the chance of a dog bite....



Race car driver....the pay would be good but with whole depth perception problem driving that fast around a circle over and over and over again.........well, not good.


this was an interesting week, they had me working as a statue model....no chance of any injury...I just had to stand in one place....but they worried about blood clots forming in my limbs due to lack of movement....I really enjoyed this job though....Nice dress, very slimming...I look 50 pounds lighter!


They contacted the Food Network to see if they would take me off their hands and maybe make me the Next Food Network Star......Bob Tushman and Susie Folegsman didn't fall for this.....As Bob was heard saying....."She's perky enough to have her own show but who's the purple guy that she drags everywhere and what if she cuts her hand with a knife,.....we want no part of that".........



One week they shipped me off to the Waldorf.....I love New York....but I had to make beds..... Plus I was caught eating all the chocolates off the pillows....


Cover Girl......enough said.


They flew me off to L.A. to be an agent....I liked this but I missed home and insisted that they send me back to Atlanta.......Here I am schmoozing with Dustin Hoffman...He's even shorter then me in person..


And then there was George..............They asked George if he would take me off their hands...maybe I could read him his lines for his next movie..........George wanted no part of me...He said...."She's an accident waiting to happen plus her heads too big."

When all else failed me and the firm decided to part company.....I found another position as a personal assistant to some guy they only refer to as "The Boss"....the pay is bad but I get to sleep as late as I like....I can work in my pajama's........... but I am on call 24 hours for kitchen duty....All in all it's not bad and it does come with a pension.....


*cleavage compliments of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

26 comments:

alice said...

That's great! You are too funny ;)

Deb said...

Very clever post...and funny too! Great one!

Lisa said...

How fun and lucky you are to have ALL of those amazing opportunities at your feet. Or head?

Country Girl said...

So the way I read this you're working for Bruce Springsteen now? And he lets you wear pajamas?

Good one, Sue!!

dawn said...

i had to laugh when i read this! so clever. your blog is great and i enjoyed poking around. it's always nice to find other southern gals-especially since i miss living in athens and don't make it down there as often as i like to.

btw, couldn't you have surgery for that too big a head problem? then george would hire you and you wouldn't have to work in your pj's anymore!

dawn said...

hi sue-
thanks for stopping by!
my daughter calls me and my camera the "stalkarazzi"! haha. my nieces and my daughter are some of my victims and now they are having babies so the pictures of the youngest children are theirs. the little asian darling that i posted yesterday was a little girl at my great niece's birthday party and i fell in love with her.

as for arthritis in feet? yikes. they just ache when it's cold. do your toes ache? it's miserable. my grandmother had arthritis in her feet too so i was destined.

i will so be a regular here. i have it bookmarked! take care!

Shannon said...

Those are wonderful! I would take the job that allows me to work with George Clooney!! It is good to have choices. :)

Katie @ makingthishome.com said...

You have the funniest humor. I love these posts! Need to plug in comedian, though. :)
Katie

Daryl said...

Oh this is such fun.

And to reply to you comment on my blog: That pup was so sweet, paying zero attention to all the people milling around waiting for their table ... many dont think to call ahead to get a reservation because its 'in a department store' but its a place many go even when they arent shopping. However, its the first time I have ever seen a dog there!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Hey Sue I really laughed so hard at this I had to go and get a drink of water! Wouldn't it be nice to stick our head on a 20 year old's body for a day or two just to feel no pain in the knees or achy back? Shades of Benjamin Button -- lol!

I'm glad the manicotti came out well for you! They get easier to make each time you do them and they freeze well too.

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL that was GREAT! You had me laughing...and ummm your head is kinda BIG!

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

LOL! So what career did you end up with?

Mimi Sue said...

What's wrong with George Clooney anyway? He seems kinda picky to me. I think you found the best career with great percs. Don't you get to sleep with the boss? Just sayin. Mimi

Cheryl said...

Great post Sue! I can't stop laughing. I think a personal assistant to "the boss" would be the best. You get to wear jammies on the job ;)
PS. And don't forget the perks like sleeping with the boss!

Linda Lou said...

I think you look great as a Tiffany's girl!! Where do you find these pics?? Funny stuff Sue.

Maryjane - The Beehive Cottage said...

Fun post and wonderful blog! Enjoyed my visit! ~Maryjane

Kim @ Forever Wherever said...

I think you looked great on the cover of the magazine! Cover Girl! What a cute post...I loved it!
-Kim

Abby Creek Art said...

I'm STILL laughing! I love the "who do you think I am...Giada?" comment. HA!

Ellen at Nouveau Stitch said...

Great post! Thanks for the career ideas. My head may be a trifle smaller than yours so I'm going for the George Clooney gig. I'll let you know how it goes. :-)

prof en retraite said...

Oh Sue...You are a hoot!! I am laughing out loud! How clever...kudos to you, my friend!!!...Debbie

Laura @ the shorehouse. said...

Ha!! Yes; I thinking working for The Boss has had its share of priveleges for you. Now if only you could get a gig with the other man known as The Boss...we could get you beack to NJ! ;-)

Susie Q said...

Now I have to go and clean all of this Coke off my keyboard...sputtered it all over from laughing so hard. Dang. You rhead is almost a huge as mine! So THAT is why George Clooney has never called me...uh huh. THAT'S why.
You are too funny...I needed a good laugh to get me goingtoday!

Love,
Sue

Manuela@Pleasures of Homemaking said...

LOL! You're very creative and funny too!

Manuela

Donna said...

You are so funny, Sue! Clever post...thanks for making me smile!

Hugs,
Donna

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

Sooo clever and Hilarious! I think you made a wise career choice, just think of the fringe benefits!!

Sweet Wishes,
Sara

Peg @ Bloomfield Farm said...

Okay, here's the 26th comment! Love this post... so funny and very cool how you did the photos! Glad you picked the job working for The Boss! Forgot to tell you earlier that Miss B looks so much like you did at her age.